FOR CHRIST, I LIVE, FOR CHRIST, I DIE

"For Christ, I live, and For Christ, I Die.” As popular as the saying is and the quite direct meaning of it I’d like to know what exactly does this popular saying mean to you? How do you go about showing off your loyalty? If it involves actually planning on attending social events for the turnup and church for the re-up after being reckless with your money? Or come to service because it’s the “right thing to do” or a holiday then you may need to check again. Now I have attempted to go off the trail various times for various reasons but I just can’t. Never could and probably never will. Why? You may ask because no matter what “For Christ I Live, and For Christ, I Die” people, things, and situations don’t matter to me because in my sight Jesus did no wrong to me. He didn’t hurt me, people did, spend my money, I did, but He did die for me and for that HE is worthy. My loyalty isn’t solely based on obligation that feeling decreases every day, but out of a pure love and desire I have to serve Him.

Now does this get tough sometimes sure it does? One of the roughest times for me is the holidays. To me, it seems like everyone is pushing out towards these great things in Him and I can barely keep my happy from hitting the ground. So finally I asked why, why do I seem to have this trouble specifically during this time? It took almost a year and a half of asking, but I finally got my answer, “For Christ, I Live and For Christ, I Die”. One may ask what that has to do with anything, wouldn’t that be the reason you get stronger and not have that issue with drawing closer to God. The answer would definitely be yes, it should be the reason, but for me, that statement had a lot more substance than meets the eye. It was a declaration. For me living for Christ meant losing everything so I could gain Everything and more and at 17 when I started that was a whole lot and now at 20 it’s a whole lot more. That meant no friends, no wild teenage adventures, no freedom to express myself or my independence through rebellion (I can do those things just can’t be rebellious in doing so). It even meant leaving behind those that meant the most to me including my family. This meant a complete death to my flesh, but this death was recurring as different things arose in my life and came against me I would have to submit and die again to further serve and not become stagnant. Making the holidays where family is so celebrated a specifically hard time for me. Yet it was the life I chose to embrace and although I sometimes fall short I never turn away I just keep coming back for more. But for a long time I was hurt by this and so I built up a wall even higher than before to help ease the pain so hurt didn’t feel so bad. I could block out all emotions connected with abandonment and rejection; as I felt had they loved me enough they would have chosen to come along with me on this journey and eventually come to see how beautiful it was and do it for themselves on not for me. What I didn’t realize was that I was also blocking out God from coming in and healing me because I wouldn’t allow myself to be broken before him. Rather I was determined to stay together and never show anyone how I was hurting.

I now see that living for God means literally Living for Him and His purpose for you solely, no matter the cost or the pain and I believe that is where so many people become stuck. This false understanding that you can Live for God and still be the same, losing nothing of this world. Rather it is a delusion set in place to allow comfortability to remain while still trying to live under the umbrella of Grace. But not so we must crucify the flesh, pick up our crosses, and follow Him, because to Live for Him is to Die to Self. So dear people I implore you to thoroughly examine yourself in these tough times you may be having or even the ones to come and ask why they are so tough. What id is God trying to get to you or break off you that the enemy is working so hard to leave you spiritually dead by blinding you to his attacks by using stuff? Don’t get swept up in the hype of the crowd and the dangling of desires, stay focused on Him at all times. Never lose sight of the true prize which is in Christ.