RISEN

Doors Pushing, Pressing, Closing Me In.

Feel the Pressure within me rising, as I refuse to medicate.

Refuse to vindicate the behavior that my mind has brought me to, because I refuse.

I refuse to exhaust myself to go beyond. I refuse to push myself past what I can see.

The plunge, the leap into the deep FOR ME.

The very thing that could save me, is the very thing I refuse to do. But please,

don't ask me why. Because I do not know.

It could be because I can no longer see me. There is no validation, no association.

No reminder of WHO I AM. Or maybe it's because I can no longer recognize WHO I WAS.

So I’m drowning, seeking these constant highs that my body has become dependent on.

Constantly searching for understanding of my own existence.

But why am I so dependent on something that is literally killing me inside?

Breaking me down, decomposing me until I am only decay.

A pile of bones with no flesh, yet I still yearn for more.

Another fix, even though I can no longer feel. But my mind.

Oh, my mind remembers the sweet taste of bliss.

So it pushes me backwards. Destination unknown,

just a long walk down memory lane.

Purpose restored as I spring forward, crashing, being utterly shattered by the real world. My World. My imagination no longer gets to wander, as it is overtaken by my conscious which has been washed clean.

Therefore, I RISE, like a phoenix from the ashes of my own skin.

As I am finally free to be lifted up within. Bringing myself back to the KING.

I RISE, from the thoughts of my old mind. The hateful crimes I committed against were merely cries for help, as they helped me to remember what I felt like. THEREFORE, I RISE with nothing to lose as the memories come pouring in. BUT STILL, I RISE. This time refusing to be beaten by my enemy, even if the enemy is me. SO AS I RISE, I will smile at my battered body, grin at my scars and bruises. For they are the reminder that I HAVE RISEN.